Hurt Feelings

I’m watching this stupid movie, “Brief Interviews with Hideous Men”. Men’s ideas regarding a variety of things, but mostly about women and sex. As I’m listening it has occurred to me that when a woman is sitting there crying her eyes out because a man has wronged her, it’s really because of her unrealistic expectations. Often, if we’re being lied to, we kind of know it. Often, when you’re being played and some asshole is convincing you that you are the center of his universe, you are skeptical… but you want desperately to believe maybe he’s telling the truth… until you catch him kissing someone else. Then the crying happens. But what are these hurt feelings? We expected something else. We keep expecting better behavior from them than most of them are capable of. Perhaps it would hurt less to go in expecting less. If you were nursing a limping calf back to health, you wouldn’t expect it to carry you anywhere, would you? Just consider that men are limping calves. They will always be limping. Don’t expect much. You won’t be disappointed.

Mindful Eating

I dabble in Buddhism. "How is that?," you ask? Easy. The same way I'm a reformed Catholic. I believe in the tenets (which is, frankly, more than I can say about my Catholism) and, when I can get it together, I actually make attempts to follow the principles and even meditate. I wish I could stick to it long enough to call myself a true Buddhist but I obviously lack the discipline. So I guess you might call me a failed Buddist. Except in Buddhism there is no such thing. You do your best with each passing moment and don't judge it. It's a beautiful concept. That brings me to the concept of mindful eating. Like everything else Buddhist, the idea is to approach a meal with utter and sublime awareness. Sit without distractions. Take in the smells, texture, colors and tastes as if each morsel were a grand work of art. Allow it to nourish your body and feed your soul. Then stop when you are truly full. Not in the belly but wholly. This is something we do not do nearly enough. Why is it that restaurants play music? Serve alcohol? Because the noise, while adding "ambience" and the alcohol while "relaxing" you, also makes it impossible for you to actually be mindful of what you're eating. And so we often overeat. We are over stimulated. Today I sat down and had a brunch in total silence. The sunlight was streaming through my dining room window and there I sat with only the slight hum from the refrigerator coming from the kitchen behind me. I realized how loud my own chewing seemed within this utter quiet. But then, as I ate more, I also realized I was paying attention to chewing my food more thoroughly. Spending more time with each bite. I wasn't shoveling fast like I sometimes do when I'm busy talking over a meal or playing on the laptop while eating. I was noticing the textures of what I was eating and my coffee seemed tastier too. It made me wonder if perhaps some of my weight issues don't begin with the lack of mindfulness during my meals. It is something to consider. I will make attempts in the coming days to be more mindful while eating and I will post again in a few with my observations. I think it's worth taking a look at.